It’s Not Kevlar, But Kryptonite

Breakups are never easy. Not for either party. Regardless of who “caused” it. Regardless of who “initiated” it. Regardless of whose “fault” it is. Nobody spends years with a partner and leaves without some great memories. No matter how bad things were toward the end, there was a bond at some point. There was something that brought them together. There was a love shared between them. If there is a child involved, that love tends to be even stronger. But it doesn’t make it impenetrable.
There is a song that Don Henley sang with a woman in the 80’s or 90’s titled “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough”. And it really is, just that simple. It sounds a bit cruel, and too simplistic to chalk it up to that, but it is simply the case sometimes. Love alone may conquer hate, but it doesn’t conquer abuse, addiction, stress, financial issues, depression, anxiety, illness, infidelity, unhappiness, and incompatibility. Love is a strong emotion, no doubt. But, it’s not the cure all to what plagues most marriages/partnerships/etc. It’s not always Kevlar but more like Kryptonite.
It’s the one emotion that will keep a person in a situation for years too long out of a sense of guilt, obligation, fear, co-dependence, need, or some other misguided or convoluted sense of entrapment. Love alone is the emotion that can get people killed, go bankrupt, go crazy, turn homicidal, suicidal, or just go. In short, Love makes us not use our brains.
Too often, people stay together because God. Or Church. Or Children. Or Money. And they chase it with a dose of “love”. “Well, I still do love <insert name>, and besides God says in the Bible…..”. Or “what would the people at Church think/say?” Or “the kids would be devastated”. “I can’t afford to live on my income alone”. None of these various excuses ever work out. None. Ever.
In fact, to me, when you’re at that point, you already know that you’re relationship is over. There may be love involved, but it is not the love that keeps people happily together. Love becomes the chaser to the drink that’s really being served: Fear, Obligation, Children, Money, etc.
Breakups are never easy on anyone. Ever. They suck. They’re emotional bombshells. They suck the fucking wind out of you, tear out your heart, stomp it, and reinsert it as if it’s supposed to beat as usual. But, it won’t. You have to learn to live again. You have no idea how or where to start. But, you figure it out. Somehow, you figure it out. And so do they.


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